Work it Like a Whale

Roses are red and violets are blue, sugar is sweet and obviously white, exactly like Dolce & Gabbana’s Spring 2011 Menswear Collection, which succeeded in lacking the corniness of this lame poem.

Looking through photos from the runway, one can’t help but notice the flurry of purely white shirts, pants and shoes. It was like a snowstorm hit, carrying away all the wookie coats and jackets from last season, leaving the models looking fresher than ever on Dolce & Gabbana’s climb up fashion’s ivory tower.

Dolce & Gabbana Spring 2011 Menswear Collection

I enjoyed how the designers revealed white’s versatility; some believe the color exudes harshness and lacks personality, but the clever combinations of tanks, dress pants, suits and ties, prove this theory wrong.

Some people hesitate sporting the bright and easily-stained fabric. So, I’ll offer some age-old advice:

You’re just as hot as the pants you choose. So go white, stand out and be loud, make a scene – after all, it’s not just any scene, it’s your scene.  If you want to be a star, you’ve gotta be the brightest star in the sky and draping some super white and possibly tight (it’s all up to your style, just tryin’ to bust a rhyme) pants upon your legs will make you feel super famazing.

With a pair of white jeans or chinos, you can look ravishing and lustrous, yet sophisticated. I promise you’ll get attention, ranging from car honks to, I don’t know, offers that freak you out and make you leave Nachtschicht, or any dancing club, for a hot minute.

I remember in AP Literature last year, several books we read criticized the color white, like Melville’s Moby Dick.  Howevs, this season, Moby Dick is totally cool and that white whale is workin’ it. Who cares if he kills sailors that want to kill him because some weirdo captain wants revenge? No, if you want to rule the world and the seven seas, invest in some white pieces this spring and work it like a whale.  If they get stained, use bleach, duh.  It’s a magical liquid that can remove anything, from spilled Coca Cola on your bathing suit and random stains you got after dancing to “Alejandro” on some random pole in the middle of the street – oh, and don’t forget about those desperate concoctions of wannabe cocktails that somehow solely consisted of chocolate and tortilla chips.

Now that’s a nice hair flip, or something like that.

Just keep it classy, not trashy, y’all.

Sugar cookie love <3,
J’ Ochart

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